The 9 Levels

Year of the Pig

2007-03-27T20:57:00.000+01:00

Is this a fackin year on....well, back to the knackers and back

I want to say nnnnnnnnnnn......Totti! Never really understood it, and still dont

But he is down here sucking Jon Paul IIs toes. He has declared his ankle hurts too much to play for that national team. Not that I really give a fuck, but apparently it may affect morale. Cunt.

Fuckin primadonna. Never very good as far as I was concerned.

Eh, Materazzi incident? Zidane being an animal? I enjoyed it. Marseille vs. Everton boy. Great fall from the Italian, stupid mistake from the guy who can apparantly dislocate his leg to take the greatest free kick in history. All drama. No symapthy. Especially for those French cunts.

That was last year?

YFC YFC YFC

Next Level:

'Belladonna takes us beyond the ultimate level and shows us how 'Straight to the A' was made'.

Easing In..............

2006-05-26T19:09:00.000+01:00

Return to the Levels

Is a reset possible?

Not really, the sub levels have been breached. The surprises to yourself have been made, there's no turning back. What's done is done, the card has been rinsed, nothing you can do about it

General Midi - bought the album, thought it was the best thing I had bought apart from Cyantific's album then came along Stanton Warriors latest offering - absolutely blown away. Breaks to kill someone by, absolutely amazing.......

Appropriate for one of the sub-levels then (they have no categories) just plunging deeper and deeper into what a human is capable of....and they stretch on.......

Returned to unkonwn sender

2005-12-24T19:14:00.000Z

So the build up was there.

The cue pushing, the fear of the undercover snatch whilst under the influence....
All crushed prematurely by unfortunate circumstances, the rest of the night played out to a 'it doesnt matter' beat, and it really didnt but you feel forced to appear as happy as you can.

Just to make sure people know it.......it didnt really matter but tiredness set in...but do they really know it? The fear..................

Not the same since

Jack's Jills can be as destructive as a social medium as they can a unifier and a repeater of 'great stories' for months on end

Well, this is a mix that is hard to get your head around at first

But

Once you do, you realise how good he is............

http://www.liquidfunk.tv/djmixes/andyglobal.mp3

Diiiiiiiiiiiiiiirty

Sub Level 'Tirrenia'

2005-12-04T16:01:00.000Z

Temptation beyond temptation.
Lucifer is laughing above you. Even he doesn't come down here.
His disgraced brother is the man down here, not that you will see him. A shadow lurker of the finest kind.
Sandy, windy, girls everywhere, like the horrible remnants of some weird porno shoot.
Watch your step.
The towel is hanging by the door.
Cyance. It's the only way through.

Mental state: Melted plastic

Cyantific

2005-12-04T10:20:00.000Z

Kings of the sawtooth

The new dons. Tunes and mixes.

This is probably the best mix I've heard all year:

Cyantific DOA Mix

(Tune that comes in at 53 minutes.......oh my gosh, swing beat frenzy of the finest kind)

Enforced Optimism - Doors are opening

2005-10-29T21:48:00.000+01:00

London Electricity :: Different Drum [Dillinja RMX]

Sub Levels? Of course...like a 19th hole on a golf course

2005-10-24T18:39:00.000+01:00

Transition:

Express Elevator down :

Dj Spice's latest on the way down

Putting Brum back in the frame, at least in the small monitor in the top left hand corner

It's a long way down.

Ichiban, the LiftMaster , asks you for a playlist, please:

1) Artificial Intelligence - No Return
2) Cynatific - Output
3) EZ Rollers - Ready 4 Love
4) Danny C - Ace Face
5) Cyantific - Die 4 U
6) Pedro Karcus - Cuba Gooding
7) Andy C & Shimon - Bodyrock
8) Cyantific - Little Green Men (doesn't get much better than this, Ichiban's favourite)
9) Marcus Intalex & ST Files - Moonwalk
10) Ed Rush & Optical - Kerbcrawler (false optimism leading to frenzy)

10.b) Dj Ink & Dylan - Need you

Swirling......

Mental State: Gravitated downwards

The Ninth Level

2005-10-14T20:08:00.000+01:00

The Eighth Level

2005-10-13T19:12:00.000+01:00

Hash browns, Lavazza coffee, una bomba romana, two slices of smoky with a perfectly fried egg...
The banshee's wail wakes you up, you slap it but it keeps coming back for more. The safety of your room has been breached. Sickie? Mabye.
Shadows flicker through the gap in the door, seeminly pacing up and down. Mabye they are.
Roll over onto the crunch of the battered mobile phone. You don't need it anymore anyway.

Put on some tunes in a vain attempt to return to normality but the scenarios have already reached fever pitch. Nothing fits, itching continues, where did that rash come from?

Bathroom light flickering, the sink is crawling, the fumes still expelling. Fifteen thousand leagues wouldn't be enough right now.

Face down, the pavement getting closer to you with every step but you really can't look up. You know the way by heart anyway so at least that's a bonus. Or mabye it isn't. Scenario 'routine' kicks in.

Wearing a blue shirt, oh dear. You know it won't withstand the pressure once you get there. Must remember not to sit down on those plastic leatherette chairs.

The door is looming. It's still half an hour away but you can almost touch it. First the reception desk to breach...

Mental State: Turgid

The Seventh Level

2005-10-11T20:23:00.000+01:00

The phone has been ringing for at least 24 hours now. Your eyes have been transfixed to the screen like a moth to a bulb.........numbers flashing up but it's not there. The girlfriend hasn't called since the night before last
Who did I look at?
What did I say to her?
What did I say to the other bird?
What did I do to her?

Blackout is compounding. Jackdaw pecking at your skull, searching for the gold that isnt there. But should be.

Shakes, compounded by the fact you haven't eaten for two days. Cant leave the house tho. Definitely cant face those steps.

That strange rash is getting worse....

Mental State: Kalashinkov

The Sixth Level

2005-10-08T19:21:00.000+01:00

The phone rings.
Clipz's 'Start Da Car' pitched up to +12 in your head
Pick it up?
Nah.
But you have to..................................
The voice hits
Initial defiance
'DJ Hazard :: Use Your Brain' kicks in....
Can you keep it up?
Slippery slope....

The Fifth Level

2005-10-03T10:49:00.000+01:00

Also known as the lull before the storm. A combination of tranquilty and a terrible ominous feeling. Possibly thanks to the hyperactive nature of the Fourth the night before. Only lasts until the phone rings...

Mental State: Anticipating

The Fourth Level

2005-10-02T00:27:00.000+01:00

Like being slammed by 'Rampage' Jackson. Devastating.

Mental State: Relentless flashbacks

The Third Level

2005-10-02T00:13:00.000+01:00

At a friends house, you have enjoyed a few beers with the lads, playing copious amounts of ISS and getting steadily pissed on cheap Carlsberg. Your mate gets the call, the girl he's trying to get it on with is coming over. Wicked, you think. Then she turns up with her mate. Who doesn't want to be there at all but is. Introductions are made, the girl your mate's into is safe but the mate gives you the dismissive 'Hi'.
Then starts the hypersensitive spiral into hatred/make an effort/can I be arsed........

Mental State: Mute

The Second Level

2005-09-11T23:16:00.000+01:00

An advanced version of the first. Still a basic grip onto reality and 'your mind' or so you think.

The supposed comments are becoming more frequent and Stella binges become more of a regular occurance. You start them as you believe it will make things easier but as time goes on you come to realise the Belgian Beast makes you switch in a vicious way.

The Second Level comes into full force the day after such a binge, making you question your decision to take on the Wifebeater. You recall a mate from uni telling you ' Stella makes you mental but Kronie is better, less vicious.' You make a much needed trip to Alldays to pick up some munch but you swear the small Asian lady you pass on the way said something. Pick up a Chicken Tikka Slice and 8 Kronies and sweat on the way home, hoping not to see anyone.

Make yourself comfy on the sofa, the incidents of the night before playing like background music in your head.

Mental State: On an Empty Stomach

The First Level

2005-09-08T21:48:00.000+01:00

Just scratching the surface, very superficial. Often preceeded by a boyant mood interrupted by a possible look/comment/scream that you fear was directed at you. But you aren't sure. You walk away, pondering but not worrying too much, putting it down to hearing things.

This incident will come back later in the day to be mulled over again and analysed further. It is possible that this will send you to the Second Level.

Overview: Unlikely to cause long term damage although can contribute to a snowball effect if happens too often.

Mental State: Relieving symptoms

Painful Work Flashback

2005-09-08T18:10:00.000+01:00

Flashback

2005-09-08T18:06:00.000+01:00

Superb night,
Gaijins in raincoats dancing to jungle,
Good advert for deoderant companies.

Rejection Selection

2005-08-26T10:16:00.000+01:00

Screaming REJECTED at +300 decibels in the pub?
Obssession of 5 years has come to an end
The 'can I have your email?' finally asked.
DENIED
Have to go back there tonight and have more Kronies
EAT IT

Mental State: Overdrive

Nightshade, Deadly & Belladonna

2005-08-23T00:06:00.000+01:00

---Synonyms---
Belladonna.
Devil's Cherries.
Naughty Man's Cherries.
Divale.
Black Cherry.
Devil's Herb.
Great Morel.
Dwayberry.

Pukkel Pop, 50-1

2005-08-22T16:21:00.000+01:00

Belgian women's soccer team SK Berlaar had to stomach a 50-1 defeat against rival KV Mechelen on Saturday because their goalkeeper had opted to attend a music concert instead, a local newspaper said.

"Our keeper went to Pukkel Pop. That's why," substitute goalkeeper Charlotte Jacobs told Het Laatste Nieuws daily on Monday.

KV Mechelen scored their first goal after only four seconds.

"At half-time the score was 27-0. But after half-time we were able to recover. We had to stomach only 23 goals and we scored once ourselves, right at the end. They allowed us to score. That was sweet of them," Jacobs added.

House of Flying Daggers/ The Assassination of Richard Nixon

2005-08-22T01:10:00.001+01:00

House of Flying Daggers....

Raiden!

Or his family anyways....

Obligatory shouting of 'Raiden!' at the tv when any of his family appear.
__________________________________________

The Assassination of Richard Nixon.

Pre-film order:
4 Pack of Primus
Enough for a few large biftas (consumed beforehand)
A face towel

Post-film etiquette:
No talking
Extreme analysis

Sean Penn = absoulte shite a few years back but on a proper mission these days. Good man.

Mental State: Microwave dinner on full power

The Inner Sanctum

2005-08-21T00:29:00.000+01:00

Came from the great voice of a Broken Man found in Japan but has come to be one of the most influential and relevant comments I have come to know.

The Inner Sanctum is everywhere, in every workplace, in every family, in every group of mates. Not 'great mates' though; The Inner Sanctum is not a true one in this grouping.

The Inner Sanctum can only be noticed if one is outside of the Sanctum. Once inside the Sanctum, you cannot realise you are part of it. This is the lethal and quintessential element of the Sanctum. To exclude and demoralise those outside of it. The Outsiders. They say the strong will survive. Bollocks. The members of the Inner Sanctum will survive and destroy those who come after the formation of the group.

All know of the Inner Sanctum. Sometimes it is obvious, other times less so. It can range from outright ridiculing of those outside to sly, subtle emails to other members regarding the Outsiders, whilst retaining a fake smile and brain numbing small talk when you pass them in the office.

Members of The Inner Sanctum will often congregate around a table for maximum effect. The Outsiders will then enter the room and feel the full presence of the group. Eyes down, sit down, the list of comments is being made at this time.

The Inner Sanctum will consist of the following members:

The Bitch - ego-fuelled, high octance decimation of the Outsiders on an hourly basis. The Bitch is the most powerful weapon of the Sanctum but not truly at the core, although they think they are.

The Preacher - 'What I don't know isn't worth knowing'. Their advice is always pointed up at the Outsiders. But they will not answer questions.

The Nice Guy - The Outsiders will never understand how this member has become a part of the Inner Sanctum. Instrumental in providing housewife-esque small talk and small time entertainment to the Sanctum. Incredibly boring but universaly loved by the Sanctum.

The Leader - no explanation required. The Preacher is their advisor. They are the core of the Inner Sanctum.

The Absentee - Aside from The Bitch, a powerful member of the group. They will have been a previous member of the Sanctum, will have attained legend status because of their past efforts. The Absentee could have been any of the above

For the Outsiders the greatest day comes when one member leaves. A domino effect often occurs and more follow. It is usually The Bitch who is left. They are then torn between attempting to form a new Sanctum with the Outsiders who despise them and leaving. Leaving is particularly hard for The Bitch so it is usual for a dual personality to develop.

Obviously the Outsiders will now form a new Sanctum and the process will repeat.........

Mental State: Vitriolic

Jet Li

2005-08-20T01:42:00.000+01:00

Fist of Legend ('94) - ohhhhhh yes.

Master of the voice over dub and the armpit punch.

'If you remain fluid and adapt, you will be indestructible'

'If you can't have your country, at least you can be with the woman you love.'

A true legend.

The Great Day

2005-08-19T03:20:00.000+01:00

Can happen shortly after The Great Turn. Can also happen in post-Great Turn analysis the day after.

Is the moment when qualified to use the term ‘Great Times, Great Mates, Great Days’.

Mental State : Obtrusive Analysis

The Great Turn

2005-08-18T17:58:00.000+01:00

A definite event that must happen at some point in order to qualify as a 'great mate'.
Can be initiated in a number of ways: 1) Mid-bender when the turbo Stellas bring on the aggression; 2) When having spent too much time with anyone person in a confined space; 3) Post mash, usually about 3pm on Sunday afternoon having spent the whole weekend with the 'great mates' and body is hurting, ISS no longer providing comfort
The Great Turn can be either explosive or progressive. Minute comments escalating to a complete outburst or a something kicking you off. Latter is more applicable to the third situation; someone talking for example. Comments are more likely to start off on a Friday night with your first pint.

Stella is the turnkey. Can be substituted with cheaper lager but The Great Turn will then lack potency and cutting comments that will remain in the mind forever

The Great Turn can happen but is unusual within the Inner Sanctum.

Mental State: Saturated

Optimum Primus

2005-08-17T01:35:00.000+01:00

Hazard - Radius
Digital & Spirit - Phantom Force
Pendulum - Another Planet
Basement Jaxx - Good Luck (Roni Size rmx) - (2nd break, o my gosh)
Benny Blanco - Remember Me? (Twisted Individual Rmx)
Roni Size - Snapshot 3
Rufige Kru - Stormtroopa VIP
Photek vs. Die - Thunder feat. Hollie G
Danny C - The Mexican
Die & Clipz - Monorail

Mental State: Swing beatesque

Bukkake

2005-08-15T23:54:00.000+01:00

Championing themselves as a model society, Bukkake is somehow accepted in Japanese society. Never understood this. Someone reckons it comes from feudal Japan as a punishment for disobedient women. Thus rendering it a noble act. Hmmmm...that but Ive seen some bizarre stuff. Enter Bukkake Karate. Two girls fighting a series of goons in Y fronts; if they beat them (submission by ball clamp most of the time) said Y Front Warrior has to leave the ring. Enter new faceless goon. With a group of 100 blokes, these girls weren't gonna last long. As soon as they were beaten, all the Warriors entered the ring, stripped her off and started their bizness. Nice one Nippon. Mosaics aplenty but who needs it. Noble mosaics to protect the girls dignity.

Mabye a bit too much to stomach but its late and Primus is oh so cheap...

Mental State: Worried about the gap in the curtains

Under the Stairs

2005-08-15T15:44:00.000+01:00

Spin-off. Copying. Not my idea originally. Starting life in the shadow of something else is great. Stealing of style. Pas original but who is.. That's the excuse anyways. Time to start I think.

Mental State: Turbine